One of the things I started a few years ago with my daughters was taking them out individually for "Daddy Breakfasts". I have found a special little diner for each one of them and have worked hard to convince each one of them that their diner is my favorite spot. Because one of my goals with four daughters is to make each one of them feel unique and special. Plus I love bacon (but I digress).
So one of the things I do at the breakfasts is ask them 2 questions. I ask them every time and they have learned to think about their answers in advance because they know to expect them. I am hoping in years to come it will be a safe place for them to talk with me and I want them to know I am not perfect and don't expect them to be either.
Question 1: What am I doing well as a dad?
I ask this one because I want to know from their perspective the things I am doing that make them feel loved. It has helped me learn each of their love languages, too.
Question 2: What could I do better as a dad?
This one they struggle with, not because I am perfect (stop rolling your eyes) but because they are still young and they still see me as Superman, Prince Charming and MacGyver all rolled into one. Eventually they will learn the truth, but until then I will bask in the glory. But still this question has helped me see ways they feel loved or even more importantly how Nancy feels loved. Example: Dad you should come home on time more. When you are 15 min late it makes mom sad. I didn;t think 15 min was a big deal....but now I know.
So all this is just a preamble to the funny moment I had yesterday with Hannah. Last week Hannah turned 4, which meant she was now old enough for "Daddy Breakfast". She has been counting the days. She was so excited she couldn't stop talking about it...which only made me excited too.
I found a new diner to try with her and we ordered the giant choclate chip pancakes with extra whip cream, of course. We were enjoying sugar heaven. Then we get to the time in the breakfast for the big 2 questions. She didn't know they were coming and did not have time to prepare. I didn't expect much because let's face it, she's 4 and I'm perfect, right?
But when I hit question 2 and asked how I could be a better dad, Hannah without hesitation hit me right between the eyes with this one...
"Dad, how come you don't hunt turkey's like Pa on Little House?"
I was shocked, I had no response, I didn't know what to say. It was like she had been waiting for years to ask me this question. And I finally gave her the opportunity. She had clearly identified a flaw in my heroic facade of super dad. Had her sisters tipped her off? Had they set me up? Had Nancy put her up to it?
She was right though, I am no Charles Ingles despite the obvious comparisons. 4 daughters, stunningly beautiful wife, dog, goats, living in the country, musician, flowing black head of hair (ok not that one)
But let's face it, who can measure up to the rest of Pa's resume? He's a pioneer, can build a log house, pull wagons out of raging rivers, befriend the indian, fight off multiple drunken men who dishonor ma, and then befriend them and put them back on the right path. He's a farmer, fiddler, dancer. He defends the whole school from a whip-wielding substitute teacher, and rescues his daughter trapped in a mine shaft. And he can appear in at least 50% of episodes shirtless, bearing his smooth chest under rugged suspenders.
How will I ever recover from this flaw in my fathering? Does anyone have a mussel-loader I can borrow?
(I am definitely deleting Little House on the Praire from the DVR)
