A Friend in Need

Got a phone call last night from a friend I lost touch with because of poor decisions. My heart ached a while back when I watched her make a huge mistake. Felt helpless to her. It was like trying to scream at a blind train engineer heading for a break in the rail, from about a mile away. In some ways I felt like I should have been on the train with her all along, and felt guilt for my own ignorance. A real friend would have warned her sooner. But I hadn't seen the warnings myself. Last night was like watching her crawl out from under the wreckage.

Now what?
What do I have to offer now to a wounded friend?
Say. "I told you so"... that would be real nice Baird (jerk)
Quote scripture about Christ working everything out because he loves us
... true, but also hurtful in it's own way

If I had anything to offer it was that sometimes when we feel the most helpless, God is doing something to help us. I shared how Nancy and I felt after her 4th miscarriage. I have never felt any more helpless than then. At the time I thought we needed to give up, and surrender to what seemed like cruel punishment. And I even entertained thoughts that Nancy was being punished for my sins. You think crazy stuff when you are hurting. And yet now we have 4 happy, thriving daughters.

I guess God really does use the trials of life to bring healing and joy to our lives. And it doesn't matter if was brought on by just life happening or from your own mistakes or bad decisions.

So I listened to her struggle not to cry, I listened mostly because I didn't have much to say. And I tried to encourage her to do the right thing going forward. I begged her not to go alone, to get back to a church where she could hear God's word, take a break from the storm and be with people who can encourage her and challenge her and help her find healing from the train wreck.

Lord, do a good work in my friend's life.

Monday Morning Coffee

I love this time at the start of the day, at the beginning of a new week, at the close of one season and the start of another. I love finding the quiet of my side porch over-looking our garden with the last of the tomatoes ripening, the pumpkins exploding and some purple flower blooming that we didn't even plant this year. Where did those come from. The trees are the only noise I really notice as the September breeze blows through them. I've got my coffee with me and my Bible in my lap.

I love this time with you Lord.

You know I am wrestling with all that is before me. You know how I feel. I am overwhelmed with the responsibilities before me. I want to be growing closer to you, really growing closer. There are still struggles with sin in my life that I feel like we have been working on forever. I don;t want to be struggling with them forever. Refining my character is one thing. But I want to be clay that you can still work with. Nancy and the girls need me. And I want to be around. The time is flying by. Katelyn and Rebekah are growing up so fast. Molly scored 2 goals in her first soccer game yesterday and I almost missed it. Hannah is speaking in full sentences. I want to be around. I don't want to miss any of this. And I have got to love Nancy first. She really needs me. Keeping this house going and herding the girls is really pushing her to her limits. She has to pick up so much slack for me. If there is anything that has to give or bend or break, Nancy gets it done and gives me the flexibility to do my stuff. Thank you for her Lord. I would be lost without her support and respect. She makes me a better man.

Work is stressful. I can't believe I have to go to a hearing on Wednesday. Did I really make a mistake that may have injured a patient? I can't believe it. Please forgive me. And help me to be humble in the hearing.

Do we really need to talk through all that is going on at church? You know my worries and concerns and struggles. Give me wisdom with people. Help me to be a better encourager. Help me to be gentle with the folks who are suffering. Help me to be a leader with integrity. Help me to follow your leading. Holy Spirit give me strength. Deadlines....past due. Help me Lord to make amends and meet expectations.

Give me peace. And so, you turn my heart towards Psalm 4 and 5

"Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. Lead me O Lord in your righteousness - make straight your way before me." -Psalm 4:1, 5:8

Now it's your turn, Lord so I listen.... I love having coffee with you.