bald was beautiful

So in my other life I am an EMT for Boston EMS, and this year the department instituted a new drug testing policy. Within a month of your birthday every year they collect hair samples to test you for illegal or controlled prescription medications.

No problem, because I have honestly never even tried a single drug. Sure, I have wandered from the straight and narrow in many other ways that I am not going to disclose here (my pastor calls that discretionary transparency). But I have never once used anything outside of codeine. I would love to say it comes from a strong moral fiber that has coursed through my veins since birth. But the truth is I have just never had any interest.

So anyway, they had us attend a class that explained the new policy and told us that if we didn't have hair on our head they could collect samples from other areas like our beard, arm pits, legs etc. Perfect, because it has been like 10 years since I started shaving the noggin' and I'm a little scared what my head would look like if I tried to grow anything again.

So I go to the test and the nice lady informs me that my beard is too short and my arm pits and legs aren't dense enough to collect the required 3 samples. Aren't dense enough? What do you mean it's not dense enough?

I can't believe it. I have never, ever not even once tried drugs, ever! And yet I think I just kind of failed a drug test. This isn't happening.

The result? I am given a letter informing me that I cannot trim, cut or shave any hair on my body until further notice or put myself at risk of disciplinary action, even termination of employment.
This isn't happening!

That means for the next several weeks maybe even months I have to cease and desist my dome grooming.

I thought I had come to grips with my male pattern baldness and moved on. But now all those painful emotions are returning with a fury. And what's worse is my neck itches more than anything has ever itched on my body ever!!!!

So in the coming weeks if you notice a new mountain man leading worship or you see my children run from the scarey hairy man they are not acknowledging as their father...
Don't worry. It's just Baird you friendly, drug test failing, hippie.

Lord, why do I have to learn humility over and over and over again?

Say You're Sorry

What do you do when you find out you have hurt a friend unintentionally?

How do you heal a wound you have caused?

Say you're sorry.


The other night I enjoyed an evening of ministry prep with a friend. We talked and laughed and had a really great time as we rehearsed and tweeked equipment and got things ready for an upcoming worship service. It had been a while since we had spent time together, so I really enjoyed catching up, talking about our kids, sharing recent embarrassing moments. He empathized with with me over the recent death of my father-in-law and listened intently as I talked of my trip to California. I soaked in his unique perspectives on ministry and encouraged him in his struggles at work.

It was a great time. It really was.

But as we were packing things up for the night he shared that he was glad we spent time together for another reason. He too knew it had been a while since we had talked or hung out and we weren't lead worship together as often as we had in the past. He had been hurting as a result. He had worried he had done something wrong. He was wondering if our friendship had changed. He was struggling with his place in ministry. He was wondering if he was really part of a family or a maybe just a hireling being replaced.

One of the toughest things about leadership for me is making time for personal touches. It is so hard to spend time with the friends you have in ministry amidst trying to get everything done. And balance that with your priorities at home with your wife and kids. And sometiems you feel like your family thinks you choose ministry over them while your ministry friends think you don't have time for them. What you want to be a win win often feels like a loose loose situation. And I'll be honest and say that even though I am a people person and love relationships, when there is a task to be done I often default to the task and can unitentionally neglect the relationships and people helping me accomplish the task.

So what do you do when you find out you have hurt a friend unintentionally?
How do you heal a wound you have caused?

Say you're sorry.

Day 1 - Personal Best 1

So I sit down with a cup of coffee today and decided to have a little quiet time with God. Molly and Hannah snuggle up next to me on the couch and ask me if I am gonna read my Bible. When they realize they can join me, they dash for their little picture Bibles and begin to imitate me.

"What are you doing now dad?" I tell them that I am going to read my Bible for a few minutes, then I am going to sit quietly for a few minutes to think about it, and then I am going to pray for a few minutes - telling Jesus again that I love Him, that I need His help today to learn more about Him, to make good choices and that I look forward to opportunities to tell somebody about Him (maybe even 2 little girls with picture Bibles and smiles that melt me like buttah)

Cute daddy moment over...

I turn to Haggai because I was talking with my friend Jose on Monday night about it. The whole book is only 2 pages....perfect.

So the Israelites have come from home Babylon (thank you Cyrus) and have started to rebuild the Temple that was destroyed. But they have not finished it because they have all gotten distracted by their personal responsibilities and commitments. Haggai steps up with a message from the Lord that He is really disappointed that they have neglected to finish rebuilding and put their selfish interests ahead of Him. That's putting it nicely.

So I sit there and I think. I remember this story. The people get their act together and finish the Temple, even though it pales in comparison to the former Temple. So what do you want me to get out of this God? I know everything is Scripture is useful for teaching. But what do you want me to learn? Surely not every single word has to have a personal impact everyday? (these were my actual thoughts... I know what your thinking, boy is he in for it) Then I re-read the part where God is encouraging the people since they are discouraged by this new less-glorious Temple.

"The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former... and in this place I will give peace"

And it hits me.... That's me! He's talking about me!

Follow me...
The Temple was the dwelling place of the Lord, which was replaced by Jesus, the fullness of God dwelling in a single man, which made it possible for me (and you) to become the human dwelling place of His Holy Spirit; all the glory of God, poured out for and into me. I am the promsed, more glorious dwelling place of His peace!

Then comes the conviction. "Baird, so why do you neglect my house for your own selfish interests? Why don't we spend time like this....every day? Why do you neglect our relationship?"

Confession...
I have become haphazard about my quiet times with God. Sure I study and read books about Christian things, sure I lead worship and talk about spiritual things with others, sure I pray with my girls and model Christ for them, sure I am on staff at church...
But my quiet times have been at best a convenience for me. I am a "Martha", running around trying to make everything perfect for Him, but I am also a post-exilic Jew, worrying about my crops and neglecting the building of His Temple, which is my personal relationship with Christ.

This wasn't just a revelation toady. I have been wrestling with this over the past few weeks. Today just nailed it for me. So no more casual devotionals, no more whenever I can fit it in, no more running around doing stuff for God and neglecting the growth of my relationship with Him.

Today is Day 1 of daily, quiet times with my first love, Jesus.
My personal best is 1 day in a row.

Thanks Haggai. Thanks Jose. Thanks Chuck Booher and Tony Wood. Thanks Jesus.