Say You're Sorry

What do you do when you find out you have hurt a friend unintentionally?

How do you heal a wound you have caused?

Say you're sorry.


The other night I enjoyed an evening of ministry prep with a friend. We talked and laughed and had a really great time as we rehearsed and tweeked equipment and got things ready for an upcoming worship service. It had been a while since we had spent time together, so I really enjoyed catching up, talking about our kids, sharing recent embarrassing moments. He empathized with with me over the recent death of my father-in-law and listened intently as I talked of my trip to California. I soaked in his unique perspectives on ministry and encouraged him in his struggles at work.

It was a great time. It really was.

But as we were packing things up for the night he shared that he was glad we spent time together for another reason. He too knew it had been a while since we had talked or hung out and we weren't lead worship together as often as we had in the past. He had been hurting as a result. He had worried he had done something wrong. He was wondering if our friendship had changed. He was struggling with his place in ministry. He was wondering if he was really part of a family or a maybe just a hireling being replaced.

One of the toughest things about leadership for me is making time for personal touches. It is so hard to spend time with the friends you have in ministry amidst trying to get everything done. And balance that with your priorities at home with your wife and kids. And sometiems you feel like your family thinks you choose ministry over them while your ministry friends think you don't have time for them. What you want to be a win win often feels like a loose loose situation. And I'll be honest and say that even though I am a people person and love relationships, when there is a task to be done I often default to the task and can unitentionally neglect the relationships and people helping me accomplish the task.

So what do you do when you find out you have hurt a friend unintentionally?
How do you heal a wound you have caused?

Say you're sorry.